‘How to play Cards Against Humanity if you are a prude like me.’

I didn’t think I was a prude until I played Cards Against Humanity.

Post-game I’m convinced I was raised in a bubble and have added serious YouTube time to the diary to broaden my horizons. I played Cards Against Humanity for the first time sober, with my partner and BOSS with no phone in sight for a sneaky google. Biggest mistake of my life.

If you’re a regular player I hope you feel my pain; for those wondering what the hell I’m crying a river about, let me explain.

Cards Against Humanity is a card game with spunk. Not for the faint hearted, this game has one rule; make them belly laugh!

The definitely NSFW game. (Image via Instagram/Cards Against Humanity)
The definitely NSFW game. (Image via Instagram/Cards Against Humanity)

There are two types of cards; the black have questions or fill in the blank sentences and the white provides objects, concepts or famous people as the answers. If your answer to the black card is the funniest, as judged by the table you win the round.

Sounds easy, right? I thought so too.

The cards are best described as vulgar and obscene. Lines are crossed in every possible way, from every sort of direction.

As long as you can laugh and you’re prepared to learn about games which go on in private boy’s schools which, after googling, will change the way you look at a Sao…Then go for it.

Still want to play? Here are my tips:

Know your opponents.

Not the best to play with strangers, anyone on the management team or your grandparents. Know all the players are on the same wavelength and are super easy going. If you’ve got a friend who’s a little up tight or easily offended, not the game for them.

Best to have a little bevvy before the first round.

Jesus, smash a vodka before the first round. For the love of God. Have an open mind, a smile on the face and be in the mind frame to learn more about those at the table. Best to be a little loose.

Know your opponent’s sense of humour.

You win if you’re deemed the funniest. My hot tip is knowing your opponents sense of humour. Are they outrageous? Then play the cringe-worthy card. More intellectual? Then clever answers need to be your strategy.

Google is your best friend.

Hell, I still don’t know what a ‘Windmill full of corpses’ means. I could have just offended you, I’m not sure. My point is, there will be sayings in there that will leave you scratching your head. Keep google handy.

Censor the pack depending on the players.

If the teenage kids want to have a crack that’s cool, just censor the pack like nobody’s business. Remove the ultra-offensive stuff or just the terms that you don’t want to be explaining. Also, there’s so many ‘expansion’ packs available to spice things up. The ‘90’s pack’ looks fun or the ‘post Trump pack’ looks scarily awesome.

There’s a hidden card.. which is the most outrageous of them all.

I haven’t seen this, just heard the whispers but apparently there’s a secret card in the lid of the box. The original black box holds the craziest, most offensive card, so alarming it’s hidden from the world. Rip the lid with care.

Snap or Uno have never looked so boring post playing this game. It will be awkward, it will be awesome and as long as you remember it’s just a game, you’ll survive. Just.


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